Nothing To Look Forward

Hye All..

1st entry of 2010..I got nothing much to say..as 2009 past..I'm not looking forward for 2010..

2009:

This year I can called it as a "SAD YEAR".. I lost my father..I lost a father last year.. and sad part is I didn't even wished him happy birthday that is a week before he died! It's like it didn't crossed my mind.. I didn't see him for the last time because I was on my way from Brunei.. Dad, everyday I prayed for you that God forgive you and take care of you as you did took care of me from I was little.

The sadness doesn't end there..I decided to resign and did not signed for a new contract term for another year with NgA..as I feel it was not a win - win offer..I stepped up..make a decision..it is time to leave..and I did..from that moment..chain of events started to unfold and crumble at my feet.

My girlfriend back then left me. I was so devastated. It wasn't a pretty breakup.. It made my life miserable.. You have no job! Your girlfriend left you! You were being humiliated! Down graded! All of it came tumbling at the same time.. I really feel like I am a nobody.. You know the feeling? I thought at that time a person should help one another and does not left you drowning to be DEAD!!! Is this a reflection of my past? What you did and God repeat it to you in near future? Yes, that's how it goes..

The sadness does not stop there..Our family lost another member..Our aunt..I have written an entry for her..

So now you know why I am NOT looking forward for 2010..No one cares for me! Don't even bother how I felt! I have to take care of everybody's else feelings..What about mine? You care? NO!!! I am back all alone..I have God to talked too..I wished that people who treats people with disrespect shall get punished and Ohhhhh! How I wished I can shoot them with a GUN!

This entry does not point fingers to the people around me..You guys have been GREAT!!! and Maria you have been GREAT too! I want to let it out so that everything in the past shall be known for future understandings..

I wished all of you all the best in your future undertakings..and Good Luck!!!